Thoughts from Communion
The Worship & Arts Team tries to pull away for a few minutes before the Sunday Gatherings to take Communion. It's become a truly special time to share with friends the incredible gift of grace that God has given us. Here are some thoughts from last week:
How often do you have flashbacks or memories of times of personal failure? Times when you've messed up and felt "less than." We've all had those times and they come in a variety of settings: social, where you felt like a goof; work, you fell short; relational, you've either let someone significant in your life down, or you've just been selfish; or moral, you've completely blown it, and stepped outside of God's plan.
I'm not sure why but my flashbacks seem to come to me most often when I'm headed to church. Sometimes it's during the work week but quite often it's when I'm headed in for the weekend gatherings. They're thoughts and memories that if I dwell on them, cause me to introvert, withdraw, shut down socially, to not interact and again to feel "less than." Usually it's some benign event and not some deep dark sin from the past. This week a flood of memories came from a Backpack trip I took in the Rockies 10-12 years ago. Typically I can get along with just about anyone, but for some reason the guide and I had several conflicts over a six day period. That's not good when there's only ten of you in the group and he's the one looking out for your safety. That memory popped into my thoughts and I started a downward spiral, that if not checked would have really effected me. When we get this way it causes all kinds of defense mechanisms to go off and we react poorly or atypical for us.
How's the view into my psyche so far? Sorry but it happens.
It's not a daily or even weekly thing but it happens enough for me to see it as a spiritual issue.
Anytime that I feel "less than," inadequate, unworthy of grace, love and acceptance then I know that's not God.
I can't tell you how many times I've talked with folks over the years who have stayed away from God because they've felt like they've messed up too bad, or that it would be hypocritical of them to come to God knowing how much they've blown it.
But isn't that the point? We do mess up, we do fail, and God knows already and is wanting, waiting for us to turn around and come to Him, from where ever we've been.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins then He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Then in Hebrews, God's word says that we can now "boldly approach the throne of grace." Not because of anything that we've accomplished but purely because of our advocate Jesus Christ and what he has done for us.
So the "less than" thoughts come and immediately we need to remember what Christ has done for us on the cross. You are, I am, loved, and valued, by the God of the universe.
